publishing envy 𓆙

i’d be lying if i said i’ve never been envious, and i think most of us can agree that it’s normal to want great things to come our way. now, i don’t believe in categorizing feelings as good or bad—they simply are. i notice my envy, i accept it, and then i remind myself that it’s my responsibility, and i shouldn’t expect other people to carry the burden for me.

this might be naivety on my part, but i was expecting other people to be better at regulating their own envy, especially among other writers. publishing isn’t fair. publishing isn’t quick, and there isn’t really a formula for success. but there are some ways you can make it easier on yourself, even when the querying/sub process is dragging you by the hair—one of those is having friends.

having a good support system is essential to keep your sanity, but i think it’s also essential to have writing friends as part of that system. i can make my boyfriend a power point explaining everything about the publishing industry, but he still won’t know what it feels like. i can’t wrap my head around the idea of turning against whom, for all intents and purposes, are my work colleagues. why would i make my work environment toxic when it’s hard enough as is?

folks, i say this kindly: if you can’t control your envy, publishing isn’t the path for you. there will always be someone with a higher advance, more marketing, better stats. and you need critique partners, beta readers, friends to brainstorm with, whisper networks, etc. even when you do secure a book deal, you’re going to need blurbs. word of mouth could take you far, when the person yapping about your book has their own established writing career!

i could go on and on about being moral and kind, but i won’t. i think even from a business perspective, turning everyone against you is the worst possible approach. if you have no friends, you get no referrals, for example—and while those don’t guarantee an offer, your book has been vetted first by someone whom the agent trusts. or sometimes you’ll get a referral to an agent that’s closed to queries. if you have no friends and need someone to quickly go through your manuscript, within a tight deadline, who are you going to ask? who’s going to help you make sure your query isn’t utter garbage? what if you end up having to share a table with someone you bad-mouthed at a conference? or needing a blurb from them? not to mention that authors talk. your reputation matters.

beyond all this “business” (please, i’m a humanities girl, i don’t go here) talk…what about the loneliness? publishing can be such a hard, heartbreaking process. i can’t imagine doing it alone. this is the part where i must thank my scribes, the close writing group that has been beside me since i started this journey. truly, i could not have done it without them, and i wish everyone gets to experience the kind of love we offer each other, at least once in their lives.